Weekly Writing Update: 6/14

It has been a little over a month since I wrote one of these updates, and that is due to the sucking void of an online game I fell back into last month. However, I have recently realized that part of the reason I let myself ignore my writing for so long is because I was waiting for feedback from a couple of beta readers for “Outcast,” and without that, I was unable to do much more. I had figured I’d just keep working on the story myself, but the truth is, there wasn’t much more I could do without their feedback.

One is now done, and I just need to get her notes from her. What she’s told me so far is that she really liked it, more than Pithea, and that a few underdeveloped areas stuck out to her, because of how good the rest of it was. I’m happy with that, considering that as soon as I thought much about one of those areas, I could see exactly what she meant. I’ve already started thinking of ways to make it stronger, and will begin working on that this week.

Because the date I had planned to publish “Outcast” was pretty arbitrary, and because I can see now that it needs more work than I’d hoped, I am not pushing for the publish date I’d originally hoped for. But I should still be able to have it out by fall.

While I work on continuing the series, if you’re interested in reading where it all starts, Pithea is available on Amazon as both an e-book and paperback (it’s also on Kindle Unlimited).

Book Review: Healing Her Heart

Healing Her Heart
Crystal Lake #1
by Laura Scott

My rating: 3.5 / 5
Genre: Christian romance

ER nurse Larissa and a doctor she works with, Gabe, unite in their concern for a woman who Larissa suspects is being abused by her husband. They also bond over their shared running hobby and a minor calamity that befalls Larissa. Though Gabe is determined to never date a colleague, will Larissa change his mind?

This novelette is a quick, sweet romance. There wasn’t a lot of depth, but that’s expected in a story this short. Even still, both characters had a backstory that came into play in the story in some way. There were a few things that were a little odd due to the shallowness, like a character in Larissa’s past that was apparently important enough to mention, but not to explain. And an action scene that was a little confusing, possibly because the author was trying to keep it short.

The Christianity in the story revolves around the theme of forgiveness, which leads to an apparent assertion that the reason to forgive those who have wronged you is because you have God’s love and they don’t. For one thing, to assume that anyone who you might be in a position to offer forgiveness to isn’t a Christian is bad logic. Then there’s the theological question about whether God loves those who have not turned to him for salvation, which I won’t debate right now, but I’ll just say the statement was odd.

This is the first in a series of novellas (from what I can see, the rest of the books are generally at least twice the length of this one). It’s currently free on Amazon, as is the 2nd book. There’s not truly a lot of substance here, but if you’re looking for a quick, clean romance, I would recommend this.

Find out more about Healing Her Heart

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If you’ve read this book, or read it in the future, feel free to let me know what you think!

Book Review: Time Benders: The Machine

Time Benders: The Machine
Time Benders #1
by J.B. Yanni

My rating: 2 / 5
Genre: YA science fiction, Christian

When the four Fitzgerald children are orphaned, their aunt sends them off to boarding school. There, the four siblings grow closer than they had ever been before, as they rely on each other in their grieving and new, sudden situation. As the kids settle into life at the school, eldest sibling Ken begins to investigate the circumstances surrounding their aunt taking custody of the kids and excluding them from the will reading. Meanwhile, his brother Joe, a math and science whiz, finds a fascinating math problem, coupled with a machine. When he discovers that the calculation might just be the secret to time travel, the kids have to decide whether or not they should go back and prevent their parents’ death, and how they would even do that.

I have to say that this book was really not for me. There were two main areas that brought the story down the most for me, and sadly one of them was the plot itself. The other area was the writing style. I’ll explain a little:

Time travel plots can be difficult to do well, and since they always require suspension of disbelief, for some people, it doesn’t pay to be too picky about what you’re expecting from one. However, the assumptions the kids make in this book about how time travel would work for them and anyone who didn’t come along one the trip make no logical sense to me. And even when they see evidence that it doesn’t work that way, I don’t see them re-thinking their ideas. Also, they decide to go back and change a major point in history (won’t say what it is due to spoilers), because they feel that it will stop the beginning of a long progression of events that led to their parents death. And yet, they say more than once that they’re sure changing this major point won’t affect their friends’ families and lives. Even after saying that this event will potentially change another event in history, which affected millions of lives. It just makes no sense to me. And it’s not because they’re kids, since they’re generally shown to be smart (the oldest, who isn’t even one of the professed brains in the family, is going to Harvard). Oh, and I almost forgot that as the kids debate whether they even should go back to stop their parents’ deaths or not, their arguments actually make it seem like they’re against doing it…even as they decide to do it.

The writing itself seemed like it needed some more work. From the very beginning the dialog just felt stilted, and I realized that the kids don’t use contractions as much as an average person in America would. A lot of the story is told in a way that feels very zoomed out, rather than up close to the action. Conversations are told to the reader, rather than shown. For example, “she told him she wanted to go to the store, and he said he thought that was a good idea,” rather than seeing the actual conversations taking place. Coupled with these zoomed-out conversations having little to no explanation of what anyone was doing while talking, they felt shallow. A lot of the time, the story felt more like an outline (though granted, a really detailed outline) than a final draft.

I found the question of whether or not there was something sinister in the way Aunt Alicia handled the estate and kids she was charged with after her sister’s death more interesting than the time travel part of the story, which is sad, because it kind of fizzled out. The rest of the plot involved everyday life for the kids–they had classes, holidays away from school, got boyfriends/girlfriends, at least one lost a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. I think far too much of that was shown, considering how little it affected the plot, but it probably wouldn’t have bothered me too much without the other issues I’ve mentioned, or if it would have at least served to show the kids’ personalities more. But there wasn’t much there.

I found this book when I saw the author was putting out the 2nd in the series, and wanted to see if it would be a good series to get into. Even though the first book ends on a huge cliffhanger, I don’t think it hooked me enough to put money into reading the next one. There may be an audience out there for this book, and it might just be the teenage audience that it’s meant for, though I personally wouldn’t recommend it to the YA group either. The book is in at least 1 Christian category on Amazon, and I could see where some of that was trying to come out. It might be brought out more in the next installment, but I can only speculate. I applaud the author for the work she’s put into this book, truly, but I think it needs quite a bit more work to be the great book it could be.

Find out more about Time Benders: The Machine

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If you’ve read this book, or read it in the future, feel free to let me know what you think!

Weekly Writing Update: 5/10

Last week, I finished reading “Outcast” aloud to myself and started transferring the notes from the proof copy to the computer. I was trying to decide if I want to do line edits with the proof copy, which means working around the marks I made, or if I should use the updated computer file. I’d rather use the proof copy, because I’ve discovered that when I read my writing in actual book format, I notice things I otherwise wouldn’t. However, I decided that to be safest, I need to use the updated file, because otherwise, I could miss a typo or mistake in the corrected sections of the file. So that is my next step.

I have plenty of time, because I checked in with my two advance readers, and they’re both still a ways from being done. I still have two months until my hopeful publish date, though, so I’ll do what I can, and then most likely dive into revision of book #3 in the meantime.

While I work on continuing the series, if you’re interested in reading where it all starts, Pithea is available on Amazon as both an e-book and paperback (it’s also on Kindle Unlimited).

Book Review: 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace

4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace
by Johann Twiss

My rating: 4.5 / 5
Genre: YA historical fiction, fantasy

4 Years

Fourteen-year-old Aaron spends two years paralyzed, but still aware of his surroundings. He’s believed to be brain dead, though, and left to his own thoughts during that time. After two years with only his imagination to sustain him, inside of which he created a world he calls his Mind Palace, he gets a new roommate–Solomon, a dementia patient with a colorful history. The next few years are the best of Aaron’s life, so far. An unlikely friendship is forged, and neither Aaron nor Solomon will ever be the same.

This is a book that I worry I’m going to have a difficult time reviewing. I really liked it, but it’s hard to explain why without giving anything away. There were moments that made me laugh, moments that made me cheer, and even moments that made me tear up. It was an interesting conglomeration of historical fiction and fantasy, and I really liked the characters.

Before Solomon moved in, Aaron had to find ways to cope, and he became a bit snarky and sarcastic (in his mind). This led to some humorous observations. And his paralysis led to a similar situation to someone who’s lost a sense, and the way their other senses compensate for that loss. As such, each other character that ever entered Aaron’s room was associated with a specific scent, which carried on throughout the book. I really appreciated this small touch.

The book takes place in the late 80s, and we get to experience some specific points in history, thanks to Solomon. 1920s NYC, the Chicago jazz scene of the 40s, and a night during WWII, amongst other things. Not to mention the first-hand experience of the 1989 earthquake in California.

Considering the name of the book, I thought the Mind Palace was fairly under-represented. In the end, I think it could have been written out of the book and it wouldn’t have made much difference. Partly because of this, and partly because of some comments made in the second half of the book, I expected a vastly different ending. I did like the ending, but was waiting for something more that never happened. That is my only real negative comment.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this book, and would highly recommend it for everyone who enjoys historical fiction, as the fantasy aspect is not a detraction whatsoever, and for readers of all ages.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Find out more about 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace

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If you’ve read this book, or read it in the future, feel free to let me know what you think!

Weekly Writing Update: 5/3

Camp NaNoWriMo ended on Thursday, and I finished strong, averaging just over an hour of work done per day (my goal was 1 hour). I’ve been working my way through my proof copy of “Outcast,” currently about 63% done with this revision. I am reading the story out loud to find awkward wording and, in theory, proofreading issues. But I’ve realized as I go that I’ve been focusing less on those tiny details like commas, missing words (I’ve twice now discovered a missing “to” or “a”, things like that) than I meant to, as I’m apparently paying more attention to the wording. So I’ll likely still have to do a line edit after this, but it’s okay, because I’m waiting on some advance readers to finish with the book anyway.

I took a couple of days off after Camp ended, but plan to start back in tonight. I’m going to use the NaNoWriMo site to track my current goal of 45 minutes worked per day, because I know that watching a graph that shows if I’m under or over my goal has always been an important motivator to me, as I work on an arbitrary goal.

While I work on continuing the series, if you’re interested in reading where it all starts, Pithea is available on Amazon as both an e-book and paperback (it’s also on Kindle Unlimited).

Weekly Writing Update: 4/26

We’ve just ended another week of Camp NaNoWriMo. It was a little lighter for me, as I only averaged just over a half hour of work done per day (my goal was 1 hour per day). What I really did was small amounts of either busy work or work on book #3 without diving too deeply, because I was just killing time, so to speak, until my first proof copy of “Outcast,” arrived. It finally came on Thursday, so I’ve now had 3 days of reading through it and marking some changes for the next draft, which may not be the last one, but should be the next to last, at least.

The great news is that, unlike when I got my first proof copy of Pithea (book #1), the cover on this one looked great already! I keep looking at it and thinking surely I’ll need to make some tweaks, but other than needing to finalize the synopsis and author bio on the back (the bio was copied & pasted from Pithea, so still says it’s my first novel), I think the rest will end up left alone.

While I work on continuing the series, if you’re interested in reading where it all starts, Pithea is available on Amazon as both an e-book and paperback (it’s also on Kindle Unlimited).

Weekly Writing Update: 4/19

We’ve just ended another week of Camp NaNoWriMo, and I am again very pleased with my progress. I kept with my goal of 1 hour work per day, minimum, working a bit more than that on average. I spent the first couple of days working toward being able to order a proof copy of “Outcast,” both to see how the cover looks printed and to use for the next draft. I don’t know how long it will take to get the proof, though, or if it will be on extended hold until the COVID-19 situation is further along (up until today, the site maintained that it would be arriving today, even though I could clearly see it hadn’t been shipped yet, and I’m not even sure it’s been printed yet). I’m aware this one thing may delay my preferred release date by quite a while, and if that happens, then it happens.

While I wait for the proof copy, I am doing light work on book #3. I don’t want to get too heavily into the revision for that book, so that I don’t have a difficult time switching gears back to “Outcast” when the proof copy comes. However, if I finish the preliminary work I’m doing and still don’t have the proof copy, I’ll dive into a new draft. Gotta be doing something!

Below is the cover for “Outcast,” which I revealed yesterday!

Outcast cover, Kindle

While I work on continuing the series, if you’re interested in reading where it all starts, Pithea is available on Amazon as both an e-book and paperback (it’s also on Kindle Unlimited).

Cover Reveal: Outcast

Outcast cover, Kindle

This will be the cover for my second full-length novel, book #2 in the Pithea series, which will most likely be releasing some time in July (final date to be determined). I’ll post about that when it gets closer.  Below is the synopsis for the book:

Deep in the desert of Pithea lives an order of mercenaries. Assassins, thieves—they’ll do anything for a price. They are known in whispers and rumors as the Class of Morano. To this unconventional family belongs one Natos Morano, a member since birth. When a woman he’s never met kidnaps him in order to convince him to leave the order, he will be forced to choose between the only family he’s ever known, and his true family that is long gone.

Far from the desert, Remiel Azrael thinks his choice is easy when he discovers a woman in desperate need. But sometimes the noblest intentions result in the most unfavorable repercussions. The woman’s situation turns out to be more dangerous than he realized, Remiel comes face to face with a demon he thought he’d buried.

 

Weekly Writing Update: 4/12

Camp NaNoWriMo continues, and boy have I been productive thanks to it. I worked an average of just under 1 1/2 hours per day over the last 7 days. But even more importantly, I finished the draft of “Outcast” (book #2) that I was working on! This puts me one very large step closer to being ready to publish. Other than the cover & tedious layout work, the main things I have left to do are line edits and get some more feedback after making hefty changes to it since the first readers responded.

I’m hoping to have a cover design nailed down soon too. I don’t plan to release this book for a few more months, but there’s still plenty to do. Plus I’d really like to have a good start into the next draft of book #3 before this one releases.

While I work on continuing the series, if you’re interested in reading where it all starts, Pithea is available on Amazon as both an e-book and paperback (it’s also on Kindle Unlimited).