A Monday Moment: Between Life & Death

My first Monday Moment now that I am coming back to my writing is the piece that I’m strongly considering using as the prologue for “Pursuit of Power.” It introduces the reader to the main villain of the story, who as of right now doesn’t enter the story nearly soon enough. That’s one of a long list of things to work on. But for now, hopefully this will be of interest.


They think I’m an animal. Some kind of creature. They come into my home and disrespect me, and they’re offended when I break their necks?

Dressed in tattered clothes, standing in a large patch of desert grass and weeds that were matted down in the center, the “beast” stood over the most recent trespasser. The smell didn’t bother her, but the recent piling up of bodies was troublesome.

The first thing she really remembered was waking up in the sand, with blood all over her hands and clothes. She barely even noticed the bladed weapons at her side. For a while, she was in fact like an animal, with no real thoughts, only acting on instinct. At first, she killed only to eat. Then, somehow, her dwelling began to draw unwelcome attention. Then she had to kill to protect her home.

After a time of being around other humans, for as short of a time as any managed to live, she would hear them speak, and began to remember a past life. One in which she was an assassin, and a highly respected and greatly feared member of a powerful order. She was…

She was nothing now. A creature, a thing to be feared by man as death itself. She didn’t know what had happened to her, but she knew that she would never be the same again.

She kicked the body to the edge of the tall grass and brushed her crimson hair out of her face with a blood-stained hand. The sun would be up soon, and the only way she survived the day was to remove herself from it. She lay down amongst the tangle of grass and weeds and disappeared from sight.

At the same time, deeper out in the desert, three men hurried north, following a man mounted on a horse. The man in the lead, Drune, was leading his men—a Cleric, a Power User, and a Bowman—to the location east of Torreo where the creature was said to live. Their orders were to bring her back, but Drune had a feeling that wouldn’t be possible. He didn’t doubt that the creature was, in fact, his boss’s daughter, but he didn’t think she’d come willingly.

After a few hours of traveling, they could just barely see the lights of Torreo in the distance. Drune held up his hand, and the others stopped. He made a few other gestures, then moved ahead alone, slowly. The Cleric held up his hand and created a Power barrier around himself. When Drune called out a command, the other two men moved forward and stood on either side of him. They were thirty yards away from the nest of grass.

Drune sat silently for a moment, listening to the sounds of the desert around him. The approaching morning should have brought a plethora of animal calls, but all were absent. The only sound he heard now was the buzzing of many flies, a noise that clearly came from that large patch of grass.

“She’s in there.”

“Are you sure?” the Bowman questioned. “She’s a Shadow; she could be anywhere.”

“I’m quite sure.” Drune looked out at the horizon, where the first rays of dawn were chasing away the night. “Very few of the reported sightings and deaths happened during the day. She’s there. Go.”

Despite the command, all three remained still for a minute, as if waiting for something. Then, they stepped forward, positioning themselves around the perimeter of the nest.

The User knew it was his move next, but he hesitated for a moment. Regardless of what Drune had said, he didn’t hold out much hope for finding anything human amongst this graveyard of man and beast alike.

There were bodies, both fresh and in the early stages of decay. When his eyes rested on the small bones of a young girl, as evidenced by the tatters of clothing, he shivered. What could kill so indiscriminately? Would the force they brought be enough?

“Do it!” Drune snapped, obviously agitated at having to remind the User of his job.

The User removed a dagger from his belt and held it out in front of himself in trepidation. Finally, he waved his hand in the air. A bright light flashed around the immediate vicinity like lightning.

Then there, between them, appeared a woman with crimson hair. She was standing, no weapons drawn, but clearly ready to attack the intruders. When she realized she’d been uncovered, she didn’t make a move; she only waited.

The same ability that had removed her cloak, though, had also revealed others. A ring of Shadows stood around her, in line with the other three.

She stood still, only moving her eyes to take in the numbers. These new enemies brought the total who had come to stand against her up to thirteen. Then she looked at the Swordsman, still on his horse, who was moving closer to her. Drune stopped just outside the hedge his men had made.

“You know who I am,” he said.

Of course she did. She hadn’t lost her brain.

“We do not want to hurt you.”

I’d kill you before you could try, her thoughts mocked.

“We only wish to bring you back.”

Back? She cocked her head, communicating the unvoiced question.

“We are still your family; you belong with us.”

He said no more, giving her time to respond. She remained silent; she only stood and waited, empty hands at her sides.

In the growing light, Drune could see her better now, and he could tell something was different. The most obvious was her hair. It used to be black. Her skin was paler, her eyes were darker, and if it was possible, she even seemed taller. As she stared into his eyes, he felt her coldness and endless anger and hatred. She hadn’t exactly been compassionate before, but whatever callousness she possessed then was nothing compared to what he saw in her now.

Then she was gone. The User flashed his light again before Drune had to give the command, but it didn’t reveal her this time. Somehow she had moved fast enough to be out of the range of the light in only a second. In another second, the group’s Cleric grunted as his neck was snapped. She was there, behind him, and as his body fell to the sand, she was gone again.

“Find her!” Drune screamed. He felt his stoicism begin to fade. With every second that she remained hidden, her advantage grew. Fear was not something he was used to, as a man in such a powerful position within the Class of Morano. But he felt the fingers of dread creeping into him, and he did not enjoy the feeling.

There. The User’s light caught her. She was visible, and four men charged at her with weapons drawn. Drune watched as she drew her own weapons and threw each man aside as they came. She spun, kicked, stabbed, and sidestepped as the rest came at her at once. The User began to form a simulated blade in the air in front of him, but she cloaked herself again, appearing in front of him a heartbeat later. She buried a dagger in his chest.

Drune’s team was failing, and fast. But he didn’t move. His job was not to die with his men, and he knew it wouldn’t help anyway. She was like nothing he’d ever seen before. For as much as she scared him, she also intrigued him.

When every one of the dozen men he’d brought was lying in bloody ruins around her, she stood in the middle of them and looked at him again.

His heart began to race as she took slow steps toward him. He could already feel those blades slicing through his body. He wouldn’t die though; he could outrun her if he had to. But he didn’t want to leave.

“You don’t have to be alone out here. Morano can offer you so much if you come back.”

Still she walked towards him. When she was five yards in front of him, she stopped—and was suddenly gone.

He swore as he backed his horse up a few steps.

“Rusalki!” he yelled into the emptiness around him. “Your father wants to see you again. He wants you to come back!”

Nothing. He backed up a bit more, and was a heartbeat away from turning around and running when she suddenly appeared next to him.

Rusalki spoke the first words he or anyone had heard from her throat since she had died.

“I want to see my father.”

A Monday Moment: Growing Closer

The following is the main character of “Pursuit of Power,” Alexander, musing about his relationship with Leahna, the secondary main character. The musing is directed at Drear Dark, the narrator of this series of books, years after the events in the book would have happened.


I’m not sure I could tell you when Leahna and I started to become closer. I know you’re looking for accuracy and details for these accounts you’re compiling, but I’m not sure I can be very specific on this one. I’d like to say that’s because our friendship just grew so smoothly it’s hard to find the point where we became as close as we were by the time I met you. But the truth is, it’s probably just because I was so wrapped up in my own stuff, I didn’t pay that much attention. In fact, for a while, it was almost as if we were both avoiding becoming friends at all.

When we first met, we both kept our relationship professional, almost to an extreme. I was only intent on practicing my Power use, and on not giving her a reason to decide she didn’t want to train with me any more. I was paranoid about that a lot, after some time of running through Clerics. If it hadn’t been for my mom, I’m not sure we would have ever started to feel more like friends than training partners.

I will say that I probably faked familiarity for a while. Not on purpose, really, but I think part of me felt that if I made her feel a sense of loyalty to me, out of friendship, then she would choose to continue training with me, despite being very busy at the time. When you write about this, make sure you include that I felt terrible later for the way I treated her. Pretending to be her friend, all the while lying to her.

In fact, when I finally told her the truth, that’s probably when things changed at least a little bit. Well, and because of what happened shortly after that. You know how tragedy can put things into perspective? We certainly had our share of that.

It was probably when she started calling me “Lex.” If you know Leahna at all, and I guess you do, you know that she is very polite, even formal. My mom’s the only one who ever called me “Lex,” but there was a point that I first noticed Leahna was referring to me by that nickname. It was while we were in the desert. I’m pretty sure she’d been using it for longer than when I first realized it. It felt natural, not weird like I would have expected it to, out of her mouth. So I guess that’s about it, the answer to your question–sometime between me telling her the truth and our time in the desert. That’s when we became best friends.

Daily Writing Check-in: February 21, 2016

Words/Time:  455 words of free writing about the main character of “Pursuit of Power.”

I’m trying really hard to pull myself back into writing, since I’ve been doing even less than I’d anticipated (which was already less than normal for me) for the last few weeks. It is mostly because of the new job, but also because I think I was more burnt out than I realized after finishing the revision on my first novel. Trying to dive right into the next one was unwise, and instead of taking a break from revision, while still writing every day, I just…didn’t want to write or anything like it, at all.

But I also work for the weekend, though in a backwards way than most people. My new job is on Friday and Saturdays. Sometimes I feel like all week, I’m just trying to keep everyday chores and things caught up, so when the weekend comes, it’s as easy on my family for me to be gone for 2 days as possible.

On the plus side, though, the job is so much fun! If it wasn’t, this would all be pushing me to a point of exhaustion that could lead to horrible things. In fact, my bosses are planning to create a shortened-length escape room (normal length is 60 minutes, this one will be 15) to set up for one evening during a fundraiser at a local independent theater. I’ve come up with a lot of ideas for them, in the theme they’re planning, and they’ve asked me to help them plan out the room sometime this week. More work, but it’s just this week, and I loveloveLOVE the idea of helping to create an escape room. I was hoping this might be a possibility someday when I started working there. If it goes well, maybe I’ll get to help with their next full room.

A Monday Moment: Sisters

Leahna is the secondary main character in “Pursuit of Power” and has been pretty one-dimensional for the most part. I wrote this from a prompt, but I think I’ll keep her in the next few weeks’ free writing too, to try to draw out her background and life outside of the story.


“If you could ask God one question, what would it be?”

“That is quite a question,” Leahna said. She turned wide eyes to her younger sister who was laying across her bed. “Why do you ask that?”

“Because I know exactly what I would ask.”

“What would you ask?”

“I would ask if the Power really does come from him.”

The older sister gasped and stared at Noelle from her desk chair. “Of course it does! Why would you even question that.”

Noelle shrugged. “It seems to me that when we start to assume things about God, that’s when we get in trouble. Throughout history, that’s been a pattern, don’t you think?”

Leahna furrowed her brow. “I…I do not think you are quite correct.”

“Of course I am. Think about all of the times that people have done something in God’s name, but later they were judged to be evil, ignorant, or crazy. Joan Archer, the Crusaders, the Restoration Society, even the pharisees.”

“Oh, but you can’t…” She trailed off as she thought through the list of examples her sister had given.

“Does it say anywhere in the Bible that God would give us this great Power that would prolong our lives and give us special abilities?”

“No, it certainly does not.”

“Then why is the Church of Pithea so adamant that the Power comes from him?”

“From where else would it come?”

Noelle’s eyes lit up. “I don’t know, but that’s not really the point. If I can’t come up with the alternative, it doesn’t mean it has to be God. Maybe it was a spontaneous mutation. Maybe we’re all using evil powers without realizing it.”

“No!” Leahna jumped to her feet. “You will not defile the good that we do, the healing, the protection. You will not claim that it comes from a place of evil.”

Noelle shook her head, rolled her eyes, and sighed. “You sound just like Mom and Dad. I mean, is it really that big of a deal where it comes from? Like you said, we use it for good. So what if it doesn’t come from God?”

Leahna crossed her arms and took a few steps toward the door. “I would strongly suggest that you do not let Mom or Dad hear you say anything like that.”

“It doesn’t really matter, does it? They don’t care what I think about God or the Power. You’re going to be a Cleric, and they don’t really care what I do.”

“They care what you do. They want you to do whatever God leads you to do.”

“Yeah. They want you to be a Cleric like Dad, but whatever I feel like doing is fine, because I’m not the oldest.”

“I thought you were planning to become a Cleric too,” Leahna said.

Noelle looked down at the floor. “I was going to. But I don’t know now. I mean…I thought they would want that of me, but I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter to them. Just like they don’t care that Ronald decided to become a Swordsman and join a militia.”

“I thought you both would be happier if Mom and Dad didn’t force you to do whatever they want you to do. How can you complain that they are not forcing their will upon you?”

“Like they are you?” Noelle pointed out.

“Well…not exactly. I know they want me to become a Cleric, but I am okay with it. I enjoy my studies and learning to use my Power to help others. Do you and Ronald believe they’ve forced me into it?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“And you wish them to do the same to you?”

Noelle shrugged. “At least then we’d feel like they cared.”


Prompt used: You encounter an omnipotent being who says they will answer only one question.

 

 

A Monday Moment: Garend

Garend is a minor character in “Pursuit of Power” who needed a little fleshing out. He’d disappeared halfway through the story, so I came up with a reason why. Today’s Monday Moment is a brief look into his life, events happening before and during “Pursuit of Power.”


It was just me and my dad for a lot of my life. I never knew my mom. Dad and I had a really good life in Torreo, as good a life as anyone can have in that territory. We didn’t live in the principle city though. We lived south of the mountains, along the southern shore of Pithea. The beach. There’s a small town called Qulu. It’s so separated from the rest of Pithea, I think some of the folks there forget the rest of the country exists. Maybe the rest of the country forgets Qulu exists too.

My dad served as Controller for all of southern Torreo, which wasn’t much more than Qulu. There was a sort of prestige that came with that position and with being the son of someone in that position. It was a nice life. Until the Power death.

I was eleven when he was diagnosed. He found it himself—another perk of his job. He was able to get into isolation early, and they say that’s why he lived longer than others usually do. It wasn’t much of a life, though.

He had to quit his job, and I went to live with a neighbor. I visited Dad every day, but we couldn’t do more than talk. Some friends of my dad, I think they might have also been Controllers, came around a lot at first. They said they would find a way to help him. Maybe they didn’t know people have been working on that for years.

Dad died over a year after the Power death came. I was sent to live with a foster family in Jaffna Territory, near the principle city, after I’d finished school. Just before I turned thirteen and my common training started.

My dad’s friends, the ones who promised to help him, told me they would find my mom. When she knew what happened, that I was all alone, she’d come for me, they said.

My dad never explained why my mom wasn’t around—if she’d run off and left us, if she was missing at sea, or in a coma. I never knew. I imagined fun things when I was younger, like that she was a princess in a far-off land and couldn’t leave her people. But when my dad died, I decided I didn’t care. She wasn’t there, and that was all that mattered.

Then one of the men showed up again when I was fifteen. When he told me my mom wanted me to come live with her, I said I didn’t care. He could tell her I liked my home, my friends, my life, and who was she to try to make me leave all that?

It took her quite a while after that to come for me herself. She lived far away. When she explained to me where our family came from, who we were, it didn’t take long for me to change my mind. It was time to start a new life.

 

Daily Challenge Check-in: October 30, 2015

Words/Time: 37 minutes fleshing out the minor characters for my 2015 NaNoNovel. After I spend a little time with the main characters and their family, I’ll be back to the outline.

I’ve officially decided to write all day, midnight to midnight, on Nov 1. I’ll be setting my goal for 25k in one day. I’ll be tracking my progress here in case anyone wants to look in: 25kDayOne Google Docs spreadsheet

Daily Challenge Check-in: October 29, 2015

Words/Time: 40 minutes working on the outline and fleshing out some characters for my 2015 NaNoNovel. I’m bothered by how unprepared I still am, with only 2 days until NaNo starts. For now, I think I’ll set aside the outlining and focus on the characterization. I have so many similar-level minor characters that I need to keep straight (for myself and for the reader) so I’m going to work on making them each unique. I’ve been known to start with a partial outline and work on it during the day when I couldn’t be writing anyway; that’s likely what I’ll be doing this year. Only problem is, this being a mystery novel, I need to have my clues and certain events straight before I can do much writing. So basically, I have a lot I still need to do before midnight comes on Saturday.

Daily Challenge Check-in: October 9, 2015

Words/Time: 35 minutes figuring out character names for my 2015 NaNoNovel.  There are nine (for now) reenactors that the main character will interact with at some point during the story. That’s more characters than I’ve ever planned for at the outset of a story. I’ll have to work on a way to make sure they’re distinct enough. If I get confused during the writing, there’s no hope that future readers won’t be lost.

Daily Challenge Check-in: October 8, 2015

Words/Time: 58 minutes developing my 2015 NaNoNovel. I’ve reworked the synopsis a bit from my original plan and given it a more official title. I then set to work on naming the main character’s husband, father, and mother, all of whom have prominent roles in the story. And I have a cast of about 8 characters who are all important side characters, and they all need names. I think I’m actually so used to coming up with fantasy names now that picking normal names that I like is…a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I’m going to make a full post later once I’ve fleshed out the synopsis from 2 sentences into a few paragraphs, but for now, here is what I have:

“Too Many Irons in the Fire”
When a loud, obnoxious blade smith disappears during a historical reenactment, the daughter of a neighboring blacksmith attempts to track him down. Her search is hindered by the rendezvous crowd, her own obligations to the event, and the odd behavior of the other blacksmiths.

Characters for NaNoWriMo

crest-bda7b7a6e1b57bb9fb8ce9772b8faafbIf you’ve been planning your NaNoNovel, hopefully you have a solid bead on a plot by now. The big questions–who, what, where, why, and how?–have been answered, or maybe you’re working on that now. This could be a good time to focus in on the who? of it all.

(If you’re still stalled on the basic plot, don’t give up yet! I haven’t hit on the idea I’m hoping for either. Keep generating ideas by free writing. There are a lot of options out there for prompts. I have a few posts from earlier this year about ways to dream up new ideas for stories that you can find here. Or, if you haven’t already, go through the activities in my “Seeds for NaNo” posts from the last few weeks, which are listed on this page. Write down every nugget of something that you could turn into a plot, or that you think you’d like to use as part of a bigger story. Keep trying to tie those thoughts together, and always ask questions: “Why would someone jump in the sewer dressed in a ball gown?” Crazy things like that, worked backwards, can lead to places you’ll never expect to end up.)

A lot of times, my characters really come into their own while I’m writing the actual story. However, there are things that we can do during the planning stages to flesh out the characters.

1. List:
First, it would be helpful to see all of the characters you already have in mind, all spread out somewhere. Making a list of each character is a good starting point. You can add to the list things like, “Guy who beat MC out of the job she wanted and rubs it in her face,” “Person Joe goes to, to find answers when he’s suspicious,” or other roles that you know you need to fill, but don’t have any specifics in mind for yet.

Then, give each character their own page in a notebook, their own note card, their own document file, or their own section within a file (Scrivener and other writing programs work well for this kind of thing). List everything you already know about that character–age, physical descriptions, personality, background, role in the story, where they’ll end up by the end of the story, even how they may change by the end of the story.

Some people like to use character sheets/templates, and that’s okay too. I’ve already expressed my thoughts on character sheets in the past, so I’ll just say I don’t use them. They don’t work for me. However, that doesn’t mean they’re bad, and if you’ve never used one, it certainly can’t hurt to do so. I would at least suggest not using the first one you find, though. Read through the fields that are there for you to fill in and find one with categories that will actually give you insight into your characters.

2. Write:
To get to know my characters, give them their own voice, or discover why they are who they are, my favorite method is just writing. Write a scene unrelated to the plot, centered around the character in question, maybe even from the point-of-view of that character, even if the main story isn’t. Writing prompts can come in handy for something like this, if an idea doesn’t readily present itself. But the general idea is to write out a scene and let that character shine in their uniqueness, and it gives you a better feel for that character.
(Disclaimer: the above paragraph was copied right from a previous post I made about character creation. In fact, it’s the post I linked to in #1 above. Clearly I feel this point deeply.)

3. Ask:
This is an odd one for me to include. You know those people who say their characters are always talking in their head? Complaining about what the writer has done to them, or begging to be let out if they’re still pent-up? Yeah, I’m not one of those people. It seems like every other writer out there is, but I’m not.

However, I did something similar once–initiated by me, not a disembodied voice in my head. I was working at a menial task for several hours, and had forgotten my iPod. I was faced with a nice long time of silence and boredom. In those types of situations, I often do try to think of what areas of my current writing need attention, so I can be thinking through an issue while I’m doing something else. This time, I decided to have a conversation with one of my main characters. His name is Naolin, and he gets a pretty raw deal in “Pithea.”

I started by asking, “What do you think of the story?” And then I imagined what his response would be, based on his character and what happens to him in the story. After a few snarky answers on his part, I decided to start at the beginning by asking him about the motivations for some of his actions when he first appears in the story. Though all of the questions and answers came from me, when digging deeper into his psyche in relation to the scenes in the story, I actually did gain some insight into a few of the things that he’d done simply because I said he’d done them. There was more of a why than I otherwise would have had.

Later, I tried to start over when I had a notebook to write it in. It never quite went as well as that first time. From now on, I’ll record the conversation the first time, somehow–either by writing/typing it or by saying it all out loud while I’m, say, doing the dishes and recording myself talk (though that’s only if necessary…I hate listening to myself afterward).

4. Voice:
The last thing I suggest for working on your characters in advance is to work out their voices. I’ve found it to be a difficult task in the past, but making sure that every one of your characters doesn’t talk in exactly the same manner (and moreso, that they don’t all talk exactly like you) is important. Deciding how a character should talk can go hand-in-hand with figuring out who they are.

Where is he from? Different regions of the world, and even of the same country, have different dialects. (In the US, would they say soda, pop, or sodapop?)

What kind of education does she have? If she’s an English major, she should have pretty good grammar. If she didn’t finish high school, she may (not necessarily, but could) have poor grammar.

Perhaps someone rarely uses contractions, or someone uses ridiculous similes a lot, or someone only speaks in one-word sentences. All of these things can distinguish characters from each other. That doesn’t mean that every single character has to have a distinct way of talking. That could slow the story down too. But keep these things in mind and you can make your characters more memorable. Also, try to avoid outright stereotypes, but sometimes it can help to start with a stereotype and back off a bit, or change it to give that character more depth.

One final note: plan your characters now, but never be afraid to let them develop differently than you had planned while you’re writing your first draft. When they really start to come alive, they may tell us things we don’t realize until we actually see them in action.

Please feel free to share your thoughts on my ramblings, your own tips, or any questions you may have along the way.