Clergy Couples in Crisis
by Dean Merrill

My rating: 5 / 5
Genre: Christian non-fiction

I never had any inkling of a thought about possibly being a pastor’s wife. My husband and I have been married for almost 25 years, so this is not something I was expecting to suddenly come into my life. While he goes through the schooling to become a pastor, there are no courses for me. But I’ve started to accumulate a list of books that might help, on a variety of topics, this time focusing on the relationship between a pastor and wife. This book is full of vignettes of clergy couples who have faced a variety of difficulties. Some were resolved at the time the book were published—both favorably and unfavorably—and some were still seeking resolution. Each account is followed by an analysis by a counselor who works with pastors and their families.

Taken as a whole, this book can be a little scary as a glimpse into a possible future as a pastor’s wife. And one thing I took away from the book is that, no matter how much we try to be deliberate with our relationship and spending time together, there may be some things that are simply out of our control. Not being a newly married couple might make some difference in some of the areas explored in this book. We’ll go into this with 25 years of experience in finding ways to resolve our issues, but also with 25 years of issues that could become exacerbated when the stresses of ministry are added.

There were stories that made me think of my younger sister and her husband, who lived in the Dominican Republic for 8 years, teaching at a school for troubled American teens. And one that I felt could benefit another sister and her husband, who aren’t in ministry, but some of the issues that arise in these stories aren’t specific to pastoral couples. Overall, I’m really glad I read this book. It may have been published 40 years ago, and some of the stories took place even a decade or so before that, but the truths and advice within are timeless.

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