Finding Phoebe
by Ellie Katz

My rating: 3 / 5
Genre: Coming of age YA drama

Growing up, Phoebe Carasso developed a stutter that made life difficult for her. She survived up to and through high school by relying on her twin brother, David, to talk for her, protect her, and be her best friend. After graduation, David goes to college out of state, while Phoebe is staying near home, thus forcing her to face the world on her own.

The heart of this story is overall well done, with Phoebe learning who she is without her brother and trying to navigate social situations that she used to avoid. Though “avoid” really means that she went to social events with her brother but sat in the corner. What I find the most interesting about this book is the exploration of an introvert that might not be a true introvert, but only became such due to psychological issues. Her stutter does not manifest around people she’s comfortable with, so being around strangers or mere acquaintances, which during her adolescence included everyone outside of her family, she either wouldn’t speak or would give only the shortest of responses when addressed. Thus, she’d be wiped out from every social encounter, which is the mark of an introvert. However, to my mind, at least, when Phoebe gets out into the bigger world, she actually seems quite happy to be around people. Maybe not to the point where she gains energy from it, as an extrovert would, but when she’s mostly with friends and in situations she’s grown comfortable with, she doesn’t seem as sapped of energy when she doesn’t spend as much time trying to avoid stutter. It made me question the source of my own introvertedness, if perhaps it at least wouldn’t be as strong as it is if I didn’t have the social anxiety issues that I have.

On the other side of things, though, this book suffers from being fairly bloated. There is a lot of focus on what is being eaten at meals, on outings Phoebe and various friend groups go on, and on minor details in the plans being made for those outings that are completely unnecessary to the story. By the halfway point, I started to do a lot of skimming when Phoebe and her friends were going to go ice skating or to a museum, and I think the book could have been cut down by at least 100 pages and not suffered any loss to the story and character development.

Phoebe herself comes across as nearly a Mary Sue. Yes, she has a couple of flaws, but outside of her stutter and a stubbornness that crops up close to the end of the book, she’s interested in everything, great at everything she tries, and, even though she spent all of her life until now in silence, somehow a great friend and host without really having to try too hard. She attracts everyone she meets, whether they knew her when she was still quietly sitting in her brother’s shadow or have only met her as she’s tried to break free. And there are times when she is talking to someone she only just met, says more than the 2-3 words that help her avoid her stutter—multiple full sentences that I thought must be a triumph for her, but turned out to not be anything? Maybe she was doing her other trick, very carefully enunciating the words, and the author felt it would be tedious to explain that every single time she did that, but since the alternative is that Phoebe just doesn’t stutter and somehow isn’t aware that she’s managed to avoid it, I think the reminder would have still been helpful.

Due to Phoebe’s tendency to be great at nearly everything she tries her hand at, this book has almost no conflict. Her brother provides most of it, but overall, it feels really shallow and…nice. I don’t know another word for it. Maybe because the book’s author is a psychotherapist, the characters are really good at analyzing themselves and each other (when they get past Phoebe’s stubbornness and take the time to discuss their issues). It just felt overall shallow and unrealistic to me. However, since my issues with the book are probably more based on my own personal preferences as a reader and a writer, if you’re interested in the book, please check out other reviews at the link below.

I received a free review copy from the publisher in exchange for my honest unedited feedback.

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